So January has come and gone… wowza. When did THAT happen?!
That means Water Month is done and on to the next.
I DO think my habits have drastically changed in reference to water, and I’m not sure I’ll make it to the gallon every day, but I do think I require a lot more water now than I used to.
So, to recap, things I learned in my month of drinking a gallon of water a day:
1. A Gallon is A LOT of water. That last 10-20 ounces makes a HUGE difference.
2. What goes in, must come out.
3. I did not get sick once. Though people around me were sick, I managed to squeak by without the crud. It could be a combination of things, but I think the water was the main factor.
4. When I drink other things, I drink less water. This is a DUH point, I know, but when I have a beer with dinner, or coffee in the morning, I drink less water. The body only has room for so much liquid, and it’s pretty eye-opening to realize the cost of each drink you have that isn’t water.
5. Same goes for caloric intake. I eat and snack less the more water I drink. Funny how often I thought I was hungry when really I was just thirsty.
I think that’s it.
I’m aiming to keep this going, at around 100 ounces a day. The 128-ounces (gallon) whenever it’s possible.
So that brings us to February.
Which I originally labeled as sex.
This sex month idea all started when I read an article about being married with kids where the author said she didn’t just want to be roommates who happen to be raising a kids together. This was a powerful image for me… and one that I think a LOT of people can relate to. I don’t think Sam and I are there now, but we are pretty intentional about not becoming that way. After a busy week of working, including getting to the gym, evening meetings, and difficult parenting moments, sometimes it’s all we can do to stay awake by the time Layla goes to bed. And usually I don’t even do that. So to stay awake and then expect us to remain engaged and intimate is a LOT to ask.
This risk – the easy ability to fall into habits that are roommate like, and not marriage-like – is something I want to avoid at all costs. I love Sam. He’s my person. And while I cannot imagine a scenario where I’m not married to him, I can see how easy it would be to develop habits that turn us into roommates and not spouses.
So what does that mean?
Well, originally I thought February’s “project” would be sex once a day with my hubs. And while that wouldn’t be bad, or impossible, I’ve wondered (as has Sam) if this will turn something good into a chore. As in, we HAVE to do this as a part of the project, instead of something we WANT to do. Nobody wants that.
But this is still an important part of my 12:30 project, and I’m committed to it, so I think what I’m going to aim for is 30 minutes of intentional couple time per day to promote intimacy. Layla goes to bed at 7:30… Sam and I usually are there by 10 or 10:30. That’s three hours where we work, read, watch tv, surf the internet, etc. If, in that three hours, I cannot spare 30 minutes for my marriage, then I think there’s another conversation to be had.
So – 30 minutes a day to promote intimacy.
Here are the parameters, in case you want to do this with your spouse this month:
1. No phones, tv, music, or any other electronics
2. Physical contact required (even just holding hands) unless not in the same house
3. Each day we’ll ask one of these 36 questions, starting with 1-4 today, 5-9 tomorrow, 10-12 on Wednesday, and then one each day until the end of the month.
4. Four minutes of eye contact (from above mentioned linked article)
If it leads to sex – great!
If it doesn’t – that’s ok too.
But this changes the focus – and for the better, I think.
Lastly, while I am open and perfectly comfortable talking about this kind of stuff (probably from my youth ministry years), this month’s theme takes 2, and so Sam’s level of comfort cannot and will not be discounted. And since he hasn’t spent 10 years of his life talking to teenagers about sex and relationships, his comfort level is significantly lower than mine.
So I won’t be daily blogging this stuff. I won’t be talking about my sex life on the internet.
But what I will be doing is reflect on the questions and my reactions, as well as how I’m feeling as the month progresses. Sam’s feelings and privacy are important, and I want to respect them.
WHEW!!! That was A LOT OF BLOG.
But if you are married, or in a significant relationship, I do hope that you join me in this month of the 12:30 project. It won’t be easy, but I do think the best things usually aren’t.